A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
