I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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