he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
