Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
