Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
