I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize