You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
