threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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