i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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