Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
