His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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