I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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