Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
