Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Let's get the cat blown out
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
