it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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