Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
