I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
