I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
