In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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