a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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