do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
