just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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