corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize