I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
