If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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