What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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