Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
