i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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