You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
