remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
