I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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