You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The uberlube is also flammable
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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