Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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