im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
foreskin is a definite game changer
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
my liver is dry heaving
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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