Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
