Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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