took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize