Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
