i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
