I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Still dying that you shit outside
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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