DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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