we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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