If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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