Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
