omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
