I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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