Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
