it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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