dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Randomize
