I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
