ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
