would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
