i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
