What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
