No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
