I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
