I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Randomize
