I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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