Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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