Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
