people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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