She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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