I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
