you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Randomize
