What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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